Sunday 19th May 2019, Nothing particularly special or memorable about this day in my calendar. The weather was nice so I had decided to head over to Cannock Chase for a walk with my two dogs. I had my usual walking playlist on (usually cheesy pop music) and embraced the bustle of a busy place with families and children enjoying themselves.
So when you look at this photograph, you will see exactly as I described above, a selfie of me and my dog Henry enjoying a Sunday walk. However, to me this photograph would be the beginning of a symbolic day that would literally change my life.
If this photo had words attached, it would describe a lost lonely woman suffering severely with her mental health. She had kept things hidden from the world, so traumatic that the bottle was soon to explode and her inner strength had lost the fight.
I knew that this day would be my last and I had come to this beautiful place to gather my thoughts and spend time with my fur babies before I said goodbye. So take a look at this photo again and now what do you see? Do you still see the same girl or do you look deeper in to my eyes and see my pain.
The details surrounding my suicide attempt are not relevant to this post and are personal to me. I have shared this full story via my website www.thisgirlcommunity.com.
What I learnt from that day is that my inner strength as a woman is stronger than any trauma I have endured in my life, The people I have around me are the reason I am here today, they lift me daily and I now have a voice and don't feel the need to conceal my pain anymore.
My reason for sharing this is not a story of pity it is a story of survival and that no matter what you see on the surface you must look closer and check in on those around you who always seem to smile and be "ok".